Confessions of a Shopaholic

Time for your tasty dose of chick-lit turned cheesy movie. Pour your bubble gum pink cosmo skillfully into a chilled martini glass. Check. Slip into those leopard print stilettos. Check. Be sure your lips are just the slightest bit glossy. Check. Good, now you're ready.*

Moving on to the subject of guilt, here's a confession from me, more often than not, I happen to enjoy such girl-power exploits...Bridget Jones is actually a favorite comedic character of mine...but here's the thing - so is Rebecca Bloomwood - the British heroine of the Shopaholic book series. I have to say, it was a monstrous mistake to swap out her nationality to this side of the pond. In much the same way as Bridget...a great deal of the genius of Becky's character is her dry, sassy, Britishness!!! Why on earth would you want to get rid of that? And I'm sorry, but subbing NYC for London & the English countryside is just plain rotten. While NYC has glam, London has so much more history to pull from which is a part of joy of Becky's trials. There's an irreverence to her that is fully played against the stuffy old English stereotype that is perfection. Plus, in the 2nd book in the series...Becky actually heads to NYC providing ample comedic fodder as cultural clashings run rampant. Maybe the film's producers are not going to make a sequel...although it seems like the obvious next step - as there are 5 books and a huge following of bright-eyed readers. Whatever, you've fouled up a good thing. I mean it.

While I'm ranting I have to express my utter horror at the sight of mannequins that came to life at several points throughout the film, coaxing our dear lady into fashion frenzies. It was highly disturbing and not a magical touch. This isn't Harry Potter. This isn't Pan's Labyrinth. Let's keep it based in some sense of reality, shall we?

If my heart is a little broken about this, it's only because I was truly invested. I actually once fantasized about making a TV series out of this character. I think she's marvelously hilarious. Isla Fisher (bless her for putting up with fiance Sacha Baron Cohen day in and day out) tries to encapsulate Becky but sadly, I think the script took all the best, sweetest, funniest aspects of her character out of the picture. In the books, she's a compulsive liar. It's 100% out of control and hilarious to see all the many ways she can come up with to hide her shopping addiction. She's incessantly justifying her purchases in ways one would never think possible and it's positively classic...and for so many women - they can relate. It takes a simple "oh, I gave in and bought a pair of shoes I couldn't afford" to a whole new level. The film does so little to play up the absurdity. I think I only had two genuine moments of laughter. That's not acceptable. This character is rife with humor. They failed miserably. I'm outta cosmo now. Needed every last drop to get through this review. I think I'll go watch "Lipstick Jungle" on DVD.

*If you have actually done any of these things, I salute you - you're a true fan of this blog.

Marley & Me

If you don't like dogs do not - repeat - do not bother with this movie. All the things the dog does that are supposed to make you swoon and have a good chuckle about will just remind you why you don't want a dog in the first place. There's a total lack of character development and a helluva lot of nothing going on for almost 2 solid hours. I'm not just giving this movie a less than stellar review because the entire thing is about a yellow lab. I LOVED Benji. There was actual storytelling in that movie and it was all about the little fur-ball. "Marley & Me" is a complete bore...unless of course, you're a total dog-lover...then you've at least got something to giggle at and connect with - a furry, troublesome, licky, yellow blur.

Dog movies worth your time:
the aforementioned Benji
Best in Show
101 Dalmatians (both the animated and live action versions)
Father of the Bride I & II (okay, it's not about dogs, but dogs are funny in it)
Ace Ventura: Pet Detective (many animals make special appearances)
Lady and the Tramp
White Fang
Old Yeller
All Dog's Go to Heaven
The Shaggy Dog
Iron Will
Homeward Bound

See? I'm not a dog hater! I just find storytelling to be necessary in cinema. I know, it's a crazy concept.